Marriage is a wonderful gift. It is not
without its challenges though. We were informed while going through pre-marital
counseling that the first 3 months are usually the most challenging. These
first few months are spent mostly learning more about each other than you ever
imagine. Good and bad habits, routines, and certain ways that one operates in
their day to day life. It is the incredibly messy state that happens when two
people are in the process of colliding to become one.
I
wanted to share FIVE things that I've learned during that first three months of
marriage:
1.
We must love each other.
"Love is patient and kind; love does not
envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but
rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all
things, endures all things."
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is essential and
needed for both parties in the marriage. If love isn't present, then what is
the point of being married? Marriage is nothing unless it's based on
love. When you love someone, you should show it. Every single day. This
is especially true when you're married and living in the same home. Never stop
showing that significant other that you love them. Everyone needs reassurance;
some more than others.
I've learned in the
early stages of marriage that love is something you do, and is demonstrated by
the actions you decide to take. You choose every day whether you want to love
someone, how you want to love them and how much you want to love them. Love
doesn't feel patient or feel kind or feel truth, it just is. It doesn't feel
like bearing all things or feel like hoping and enduring, it does those things.
This goes against everything we've been taught about love. Marriage
shines a bright light on all of these 'love' actions. Every day as a
husband or wife you decide if and how you want to demonstrate your love.
2. We must respect each other.
"However, let each one of you love his
wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."
Ephesians 5:33
3. We must count the little things.
“One
who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much..."
Luke 16:10a
This is
my own tailored understanding of this verse. If you are faithful with
showing love and care through the little things, you will find it easy to be
faithful in showing love and care through bigger things. If your significant
other sends you a card, brings you something to drink, asks you how you're
feeling, grabs your hand while you're driving, etc, recognize and appreciate
it. Find ways to reciprocate in these little acts. Don't wait for the big
events to show them you love and care for them.
4.
We must communicate and compromise.
“Two
are better than one.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9
Change
is necessary for growth. There will always be things you may have to
adjust for your partner and vice versa, but you must be willing to make those
changes. In fact both parties must be willing to make some changes.
Telling someone who you love that you don't agree with them isn't always
easy, but it has to be done in order for change to happen. This is why
communication is so important. Make sure communication is clear and that the
conversation isn't over until it ends in agreement, understanding or compromise.
When you make decisions together, they will be more powerful and beneficial
than when a decision is made alone.
In the
first few months of marriage, we've both assumed many things that turned out to
be just plain wrong but that is necessary for understanding each other better.
I think we're both better after resolving some of our differences as we
gain different perspectives and see new sides to things we otherwise would have
thought were black and white.
5. We must use the Bible as a daily guide.
"This
Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it
day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is
written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will
have good success."
Joshua 1:8
Whoever
it was who wrote the bible is really, really smart! Ok, I realize that many
people wrote the bible over many hundreds of years but that's not the point.
It literally has the answer to every single question or problem you may
have. Seriously, look it up.
Having
the same values makes things so much easier in a marriage. My husband and I
value our beliefs and turn to the Bible often. Having that in common
helps us to use the Bible as our reference for things that come our way. We can
both hold onto the same truth when times get tough and it unites us to get on
the same team, playing under the same rules. It helps us make our big
decisions and it helps us stick to our small decisions. Overall, it
promises us good success and who doesn't want a successful marriage?
The
first three months of marriage for my husband and I have been wonderful and a
great challenge at the same time. There's nothing I have experienced
previously that I can compare to the last few months. There's really not
much you can do to prepare for it other than being aware that it will be really
exciting but you will also have some challenges and difficult times learning to
be one with each other. Marriage is quite a journey as I'm starting to
now understand. You hear all that stuff when people are telling you
before you get married but I didn't have a clue what it meant until now.
All of the things above have contributed to making it a very enjoyable
experience and I'm looking forward to the rest of it. The journey
continues !
Hope you enjoyed the post
Until Next Time
Sincerely Miss J
What do you look forward to in marriage?
What are some of the lessons you've learned from being married?
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